The Real Reason You're Stuck (And What Great Leaders Do Instead)
Apr 09, 2025
The Real Reason You're Stuck (And What Great Leaders Do Instead)
by Gabe Kolstad | Leadership Coach | gabekolstad.com
Let’s get real for a moment:
You’re not stuck because you’re lazy.
You’re stuck because you’re solving the wrong problem.
Most leaders I work with aren’t struggling with apathy — they’re drowning in overcommitment. They’re stuck because they keep stepping in when they should be stepping back.
Sound familiar?
You’re in the middle of everything:
The one setting up chairs.
Answering every question.
Solving every problem.
And wondering why your calendar’s bloated and your energy is drained.
That’s leadership quicksand. And if you don’t stop sinking, neither will your mission.
The Leadership Dilemma
“If you’re always trying to be the solution, you’ll eventually become the problem.”
Every time you do the thing yourself, you delay someone else’s growth.
Every time you jump in, you rob your team of a chance to rise.
Every time you handle it, your organization becomes more dependent on you.
That’s not leadership.
That’s survival.
A Better Formula
The best leaders flip the script:
Step In = Stuck In
Step Back + Set Up = Step Up
Here’s what I’ve learned: Leadership isn’t about doing more — it’s about designing better systems, developing people, and deciding what matters most.
It’s not laziness to hand things off. It’s legacy leadership.
Why We Keep Stepping In
Here are four common reasons leaders get stuck:
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Inexperience – You haven’t spent enough time developing others, so delegation feels risky.
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Impatience – You believe, “It’s faster if I just do it myself.”
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Insecurity – You like being the go-to. It feeds your identity and value.
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Lack of Clarity – Without a strong mission and strategy, everything feels urgent.
Let me give you a simple illustration…
The Chair Problem
I pastor a growing church in Beaverton, Oregon. For a while, I found myself constantly straightening chairs between services. It felt small, but oddly satisfying.
Eventually, I realized: I was always stepping in… but never setting someone up.
Six months later, I was still the guy fixing the chairs. Why? Because I never trained anyone else to care the way I did. That was on me.
Now we’ve built a system. Someone owns it. The rows are straight. And I’m focused on what only I can do.
3 Questions to Get Unstuck
Next time you’re about to step in, pause and ask:
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What is actually needed?
Step out of urgency and into clarity. What’s the real win here? -
Who else can do it?
If the answer is “only me,” the team is too small — or underdeveloped. -
How can I set them up for long-term success?
Think training, trust, tools, and time. Not a one-time fix, but a sustainable solution.
“The job isn’t to catch up — it’s to leap forward.”
— Seth Godin, Linchpin
You can’t leap if you’re stuck.
This Week’s Leadership Challenge
Don’t just ask, “What needs to be done?”
Ask: “Who can I equip so I never have to do this again?”
It’s not about doing less.
It’s about doing the right things — and empowering others to do the rest.
👉 Want help getting unstuck?
I’d love to offer you a free 30-minute leadership strategy session.
We’ll take a look at where you’re stuck, what’s holding you back, and how you can build the team, structure, and strategy you need to move forward with purpose.
📅 Book yours now at gabekolstad.com
Let’s build something that outlasts you — together.
Thanks for reading! Subscribe to my weekly email, TGIM (Thank God It’s Monday), for fresh leadership insights delivered every Monday morning to help you lead with clarity, courage, and purpose.
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